UK: Bears to be taught not to shit in the woods


Starting lessons!

Starting lessons!

Satire Alert: Young bears will be given lessons to encourage them not to defecate in the woods, but instead to conform more with British customs of toileting, in a new plan by the UK government.

The aim will be to reverse the warped perception of toilet behaviour that young bears have been brainwashed in to believing.

There are a number of different programmes currently running that the government could use on the bears.

One programme, which is run in zoos, uses animal psychologists to challenge the views of unacceptable toilet practices through hygiene teaching.

Prime Minister David Cameron said: “In the past some money was spent on organisations who were part of the problem rather than the solution.

“I believe it’s very important we don’t just target toilet extremism we target the toilet extremist narrative from which these young bears draw succour. I think that is important.”

Read it here, and some much needed common sense here.

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